Tender Mercies

Lately I have been thinking about the tender mercies of the Lord. I see His hand in so many instances. I was remembering back to last year when Matt was so sick, and we didn't know what what was wrong. He had his gall bladder removed, and shortly after, seemed to be doing better. Then, in early April he started getting sick again. The doctor's were baffled, and doing every possible test, and still couldn't figure it out. I was 8 months pregnant, and still throwing up daily. Still, throughout April and May, he remained sick, and undiagnosed. The day that I delivered Camden, Matt was as sick as I remember him being. I remember looking over at Matt when I was almost ready to start pushing, and his Dad was massaging his back and asking what he could do for him. What should have been a happy moment, was clouded by Matt's sickness. (It was an incredibly happy day, but I was worried sick, and also wondering if I was going to be raising this baby, and my other kids on my own.) Matt has always been an extremely helpful husband, and father. So, when he went to bed the day we came home from the hospital at 7:00- I knew whatever he had was just taking over his body. The day that Camden was blessed, Matt carried him to the front, and gave him his blessing, and winced in pain as he held him up for the congregation to see. He was so sore for days after this. He literally couldn't hold him, or help take care of the kids. He continued to be sick and deteriorate until the end of August. We went to the specialist that he was seeing, and he told us that everything had been ruled out except a rare cancer, and Sarcoidosis. Through this whole experience, I think that was the only time I cried in front of him. (I did cry at night a lot- while Camden was awake at night, I would just rock him and hold him and cry- but Matt never saw this. I didn't want him to know how scared I was- or how alone I felt.) Through a chest and lung biopsy, they were able to determine that Matt didn't have cancer, but Sarcoidosis. We never would have thought we would be so happy for that disease. It is not a walk in the park- but compared to terminal cancer- we'd take it. Matt started feeling better by the end of August.

I relate this situation, to explain where I am coming from. It was a really hard year, with big changes, because of the new baby, and Matt's sickness. However, through it all I really felt the hand of God in my life. It is hard to explain, I just know that He was there helping carry my burdens. Helping me take care of my children and husband. It wasn't easy but He lightened my load, through his tender mercies. I remember the song "When I Feel His Love" coming into my head over and over again. It was as if I needed reminding that tender mercies were being shown to me daily. I can honestly say that I felt Him there helping me, more than any other time in my life.

The verse that kept popping into my head:

Quiet times of revelation tune my heart to see
Tender mercies of the Lord ,are daily shown to me.
As I feel the love of God I seem to understand
I can be an instrument in Heavenly Father's hands.


Quiet times of inspiration touch me and I feel
God's pure love is guiding me, His promises are real
As I nurture those I love, within my daily sphere
I feel strength beyond my own and know that God is near.

Recently, I have been reading a couple of very inspiring blogs. They are both from amazing LDS women, who recently lost their small children. It has given me a whole new perspective on things. It has been so edifying, and inspiring to read. They have been through so much adversity, and heartache. It is hard for me to even comprehend. However, through their writing, I have been able to see some amazing examples of the Lord's tender mercies. I have come to realize that He will help us carry our burdens, and make our loads lighter, but He doesn't take them away. He makes us equal to our tasks or burdens. I have noticed his tender mercies, more often lately, and have witnessed so many examples of them. I hope that I will continue to seek out His goodness, and recognize His tender mercies in my life.